Why Do Relationships Take Work

This is a question I have asked myself many times. Marriage takes work. Relationships take work. We have to work  on relationships with our co-workers and Lord knows, no matter how much we love them, we have to work on our relationships with our children/parents. Is nothing easy? Is everything oppositional? And worst of all, we are at odds with Christ until we become believers then it still takes the utmost of deliberate attention to maintain a relationship with Him. We live in a fallen sinful world and everything here takes time and work for it to be good.

Why is all this work worth the effort? Is it because we need a soul connection to those we love in order to avoid living in an unsatisfying emotional desert? From the beginning of the world we are told we are designed to be connected. Adam needed a mate, a special one.

Secularly we are told that no man is an island. We are all connected. And, if left alone, everything moves from organization to chaos. Without attention and work, all relationships decrease in intensity and drift toward disunity. In order to deepen these connections, whether with a friend, marriage partner, or with our Creator, spending time together is essential.


The deepest part of our nature desperately needs to move closer to those we love. Because we live in a fallen world,  the natural tendency is to move slowly apart.  It takes commitment to make a good thing last.

Ephesians 5 : 25f gives us a picture of marriage as our relationship with Jesus. Both of which can be difficult.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansingb her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30for we are members of his body. 31For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.c 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

That’s a lot of love! And that is also a lot of work.  But notice how it seems to go only one way? Men are to love as Christ loved. . . a heavy challenge! Women are not charged to love, but to respect.  We do know, however, from the rest of Scripture we are all taught to love and respect each other.

My point is found in vs.31-32. Marriage is a picture of Christ and ourselves. We are taught to ignore neither one.

All relationships are important. Some are baffling. Many are necessary. All take work because we live in a sin infested world where nothing good is easy.  

As you may be able to decipher, I have a relationship that has been rather hard lately. All I know to do is to pray about it and if it is a worthy relationship to keep struggling with it. If it is not maybe I should let it go and create a different connection. Why bother when it is just going to create work? Because that is how we are made: In the image of God in which, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit constantly have communion together. And we are to imitate Him.





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