I know many of you have children of all ages. Even before they were born we had hopes for them, hopes for success and happiness. Then after they were born, we exposed them to various sports and activities before they entered kindergarten. We wanted them to see and do as much as possible so their little brains would grow, so they would experience this wonderful world we live in, so they could have an enormous amount of choices for their life directions.
Some of us turned into helicopter parents, always hovering over the child’s every move. It became a permanent position for some parents, hovering over the kids well after they were adults themselves. Why are we afraid? Is it a symptom that means we don’t believe we did a good job parenting and have reared inadequate offspring?
Looking back, I think I hovered too much in some areas and not enough in others. My husband and I have two wonderful sons. We are very proud of them and give God the glory for it. I do hope they have forgiven us for all the mistakes we made.
When my first son was about nine months old I worked part time in child care. One of the other workers also had an infant in the room. Sometimes she would look at her daughter and wish she could stay little forever. Once I told her that I felt just the opposite. I wanted to hurry and see what kind of man he would be. Would I like him? What would he do for a living? He would be able to tell us his thoughts and opinions! Unknown to me at the time it was happening as fast as a flash of lightening! And, yes, I do like him! I like him a lot!
I may have mentioned this before but I became an empty nester in one fell swoop. My older son who was living in the basement apartment got married and took the dog. My younger one left for college about two hours away. I was so happy for them and was looking forward to doing some things with my husband. Empty nest syndrome didn’t come to light until six years later! One morning I woke up wondering where the time had gone. Had I prepared them well? I couldn’t comprehend that those adorable boys had become handsome men. I needed more time with them! There were many more things I should have taught them! Now the opportunity was gone. I crashed for several days before I got my equilibrium back.
They are God’s children not mine. He only gave them to me for a short while. I am a strong believer in the sovereignty of God. An imperfect parent does not make a lousy child only an imperfect one such as we are. In the end, God is Lord of all. He directs their paths. There is so much of that concept I do not understand. That’s where faith comes in.
Several years ago, I had a similar experience. It wasn’t about being an empty nester but it was about my helicopter. The boys were too old for me to hover over them which made God the only one who could watch over them and teach them. It was an exercise in trust for me that has become pivotal in my relationships with them.
So as not to create misunderstandings, I don’t believe in spiritualizing Scripture. I believe we must look at the context of the verse(s) and understand who it was written to and why. Still, as I was fretting over my poor parenting skills, I looked down at my Bible. It was opened to Isaiah 54. My eyes fell onto verses 11-13. It was the first part of verse 11 and then 13 that immediately caught my eye.
“O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted. . . All your sons will be taught of the Lord;
And the well-being of your sons will be great.”
I was left with my jaw dropped! Was this a word from God or a blatant misuse of God’s Word? It was so very timely and seemed to jump right off the page! Whatever the case, I was extremely comforted because that first line described me. God would teach where I was deficient and my sons would be just fine. More than just fine!
There’s nothing more important to me than my children’s eternal security.Their well-being could not be great unless their salvation was secure. To say the least!
To those of you who say this is not how the Bible was meant to be read, I agree. I can’t explain though how personal this was for me. I have had sentences jump off the page toward me in other books as well. It seems that the printed word is the medium God uses to get my attention.
If your biggest concern is for your child’s salvation, keep praying! God hears the prayers of a righteous man (and woman.) Let them know you are praying for them.And, bring them before the Lord daily. He will answer you . If you have to hover, hover before the throne of God. Don’t let him go!