Some things I can’t let go of. Some things won’t let me go. Old poems long since thrown away. New ones freshly written. Stained coffee mugs. Scrapbooks and thoughts running as on a hamster’s wheel. This is me.
Changing me is hard. I have to go to physical therapy. Again. I need to lose weight. Again. I need to take a class to better help me deal with the pain. I am already seeing a psychologist weekly who specializes in chronic pain. For years I have dealt with my pain by shielding myself from triggers and the outside world. The less I do, the less it hurts. The downside is that the less I do, the less I am able to do. So changes have to come.
If you haven’t been through it, you don’t know what it can do to you. Whether the pain is emotional, mental or physical, it may still be chronic. I run to my Father and he reminds me of the glories of heaven, of his glory that I can’t wait to see.
Some of you know how old I am. Old enough to know that even if I die of old age that is not too far away. I get closer to seeing Jesus face to face every day. I want to be in his good graces when I see him. Although I know he sees his righteousness in me. That is what Jesus died for.
Some things I can’t let go of. Some things won’t let go of me. More than the stains on the dearest coffee mugs or my precious children’s scrapbooks, My Father and I can’t let go of each other. All that is eternal is more important than all things earthly.
I used to think that I liked change but I was wrong. Change comes hard. Oh, how glad I am we do not worship a God who calls on us to change before he will accept us. He scoops us up then he produces the changes. Grace. Forgiveness. Love.
I’ve rambled a bit tonight. I have followed my thoughts around the hamster’s wheel .
Starting off with who I am and following myself into who I am in Christ. I have no where else to go. Neither do I want any where else to go. He is my all.
It hurts my heart to know people I love who have simply rebelled and refused to believe. Other friends and relatives just aren’t interested in the christian life and aren’t sure they want to believe. They will miss out on the glory of God.
Ours is not a religion of works. “He ‘s a sweet guy.” “She one of the best women I know.” We aren’t saved by our sweetness, our goodness, or any personality trait. Ours is one of Faith. Believe and Surrender. It is really quite easy but oh so hard!
Once again I refer you to Ephesians 2: 1-10. Read it thoughtfully and slowly. It is our story. It is who we are.
Thank you for reading my blog. Some of you I know. Some of you I don’t. Your kindness of reading my random (at times) words, I do appreciate and pray for you.
All my love and God’s blessings!